Feb 18, 2011 - :(

Have you ever felt like you are not fit to be a mom?
Somehow that is how I'm feeling lately...
New baby, lack of sleep, lesser time to do anything else...
Maybe I am exhausted kot?
Entah.

Don't get me wrong... I love my babies!
Lately Qaiser asyik merengek...
Mana tak nye, asal ade orang datang je dok angkat dier...
Daddy dier balik keje dok angkat dia, dok goyang², dok dodoi²...
Kalau dulu letak je kat atas tilam dia,
Dia okk skit, ekk skit, kalau takde orang angkat, dia diam...
Kalau sekarang dia okk, ekk, takde orang attend dia terus nangis!
Kalau angkat baru dia diam...
Kalau bawak berjalan baru dia terlelap!

So bila orang lain takde, daddy gi kerja, aku la yang letih kalau sik nak di angkat je...
Lenguh tangan² OK!
Kadang² aku biar je dia merengek kejap, baru aku angkat...
Tak larat!
Tapi... cian je bile tengok baby kecik aku neh nangis... tak sampai hati pulak nak biar dia nangis lelame...!

Kadang aku fikir I cannot do this anymore!
I seriously need to get out!
Aku seriously tak boleh nak dengar baby kecik ni nangis the whole day!
It'll drive me crazy!
I'm drained!
Flat out!

I keep reminding myself: Mama, this is NOT baby Qistina... This is baby Qaiser... I am different ma...

Err adakah ini normal?
Tapi takde lah sampai aku nak buat bende bukan² kat anak aku...
Giler ke ape.
Dont worry, aku masih waras...
Cuma kepenatan agaknye... and a bit disappointed with things...
Well, you can't always get what you want...
Deal with it!
Kan?

It's either that, or I am not fit to be a mom...
Not to a small baby...
I feel bad... :(
Sorry baby boy...
Ma loves you! Just not being myself lately...

2 comments:

Bro Fit said...

are u ok?? sabar lah... besar pengorbanannya seorang ibu menjaga seorang anak..and vice versa..be a good mum, kak! :)

Hanie Ly said...

Im trying... ;P must be one of the meltdown moments lah dik... kadang² terase sgt penat! ;P