Dec 22, 2010 - The day I realized that he doesn't love me anymore…

…Because people don’t just shout at you for no reason in the morning.
…Because people don’t hurt your feelings for no reason in the morning and leave you there crying…
…Because people don’t make you feel like a big fat ugly loser in the morning just because you have no paycheck for the past 2 fucking months…

Why would you want to love someone who treats you like crap?
Why bother trying when you know it’s not going anywhere?
Why torture yourself for the sake of others?
Why sacrifices your future when you still have a chance at happiness?
Why cry when people see you as someone so strong that you shouldn’t even have tears in you?
Why break your own heart when no one cares to mend it?
Why ask when you already know the answer?

He doesn’t love you anymore…
Doesn’t that make sense?
Isn’t it obvious?

But when he is asleep, I would look at his tired face and feel sad and sorry for making him work hard for us…
But when he is asleep, I would look at his face for hours and whisper I love him… hoping he would do the same thing too…
But when he is asleep, he looks like someone who loves me 6 years ago…

Maybe I’m just making up a ‘picture perfect life’ inside my twisted head wishing for it to be true...
Well it’s not.
Wake up.

30 more days to go…

Dear God, please show me the truth as I am blinded by lies…
Amin.

4 comments:

Fara said...

sometimes I do feel that way too. seriously, I am very over sensitive person. kadang2 mainan perasaan, padahal tak de pape pun. i hope you will be ok yea, plus tgh preggie ni kan, kte penat, perubahan hormon :) take care!

Hanie Ly said...

Betul tu Fara... but at this stage Im not sure if it's just my feelings or something else... Pape pun tnx for advice... :)

mama_iris said...

jangan ikot perasaan...tu sume mainan syaitan....i'm sure dia sayang sangat kat you....=)

Hanie Ly said...

:) Thank you...