February 27, 2010

Lazy weekend.
He wants to go to his mom’s house.
Mendengarkan itu je pun da buat aku rasa malas.
Lemah longlai seluruh badan.

I’m not the kind who knows how to ‘mingle’ with the in-laws.
I would just sit there quietly minding my own business.
I don’t know what to do.
I feel like whatever I do is wrong.
Buat air ke, masak lagi la.
The only thing I can do without guilt is wash the dishes.

But it’s only fair that we give them a visit every once in a while.
Isn’t it?
So I told him, you have to take us go jalan-jalan first!
(So that we will spend less time in my in-law’s house)
Call me a bad daughter in law.
But I seriously think his mom doesn’t like me too.
So it’s a mutual feeling.

Maybe I am not trying hard enough to win her heart.

Let’s just face this for one day.
I’m happy when he’s happy.

She reads

Mommy : Read this word.
Bubu : football.
Mommy : What does it means?
Bubu : kakibola.


February 25, 2010

What is RIF? Redundancy In Force.
It means that your service with the company is not required any further.
And so they will give you 2 months notice of termination.
A small amount of Severance.
Plus a month of Retention bonus.
And if your manager is kind enough, you will be assigned to a Consulting Solutions company who is supposed to help you get another job.
And quote ‘make this situation less painful’ for you.
Like it’s not already painful to know that you will be jobless in 2 months time.

Sadly, I am one of the employee who is getting RIFed.
And I just got the news yesterday.
After our session with the Consulting Solutions director, everyone seems to be very optimistic about getting a new job in 2 or 3 months time.
Because they claimed to have 100% success in doing what they are paid to do.
A tint of me is trying to be optimistic but I don’t want to put high hopes on it.
I simply don’t want to be dissapointed when the time comes and I am still jobless.

I have somewhat mixed feeling right now.
Maybe I am still ‘calm’ because it is 2 months away before the situation is actually going to hit me on my face.
Before I am going to crumble.

How am I going to pay the hosue mortgage? I stil have another 34 years of debt with the bank.
My kid’s school fees?
How am I going to live?
What am I going to do?

I still havent told my parents about it.
They’re living with me by the way.
And all expenses are my responsibility.
* sigh *

Now is the time when I really need his support. My husband.
He doesn’t seem to realize that.
He doesn’t seem to realize how fragile I am right now.
Insensitive. He.
A big jerk sometimes.
But I love him.

The whole situation made me realize.
Made me think.
What do I want to do?
All this time I’ve always started something.
But I never finish them.
Maybe this is the time to do it.

Maybe this is a blessings in disguise.
I have always been too comfortable with my workplace that I am afraid to step out and try out new things.
To see what other opportunities are waiting for me out there.
My life with this company is a lie anyway.
It’s time to start something the right way.

A part of me cant wait to start over.
A part of me is hoping that I will survive this one chapter in my life.
And another part of me is feeling a bit lost.
Let’s see how it goes.

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***These pic is for the purpose of layout editing onlie.. ;P